Cookin' in Hells Kitchen

Cookin' in Hell' Kitchen

Iron Horse customizes a Japbike.

The New York Motorcycle show was held in mid-February at the Jacob Javits center on Manhattans' trendy wes side, overlooking the Hudson River and the scenic cliffs of New Jersey. The motorcycling public was invited, as it is each year, to cram its collective self inside the massive convention center complex and, for a nominal fee, bear witness as various manufacturere and aftermarket suppliers unveiled their newest products for'96. At least that's what they tell me. I didn't go. It sounded too much like a very expensive commercial.

English Don of SD.Cycles had a better idea...the anti-bike show show. His shop is located right across 11th. Avenue from the Javits center, and he figured why pay a grand to rent a stinky little booth in the queasy belt buckles-to-asses environment (which wouldn't be such a bad proposition if more chicks were into motorcycles) when he had the use of an entire New York City block to host his own shindig? For free!

So Don invited the Horse to hang out while he snagged the unsuspecting pedestrian traffic as it wended its way to the convention center from nearby parking lots and subway stops. The prospect of Don and his cohorts at SD. waylaying disoriented tourists like a band of latter-day highwaymen was too much to resist. Besides, Don had promised, "I've reserved a sledgehammer for ya".

What a coincidence. Scattered amongst the flood of responses to the IH.Questionnaire that ran in #141. and #142, were a couple of requests for customizes jap bikes! Never let it be said that the Horse doesn't drift whichever way the wind happens to be blowing. We can vacillate with the best of 'em! And what better opportunity to serve that segment of the readership than with our very own japbike project?

I told Don I'd bring my own hammer...namely the 20-pound Canadian Railroad Piledriver sent in by Woo from Toronto. I only wished that our project bike was one of those new super-righteous, six-cylinder Honda Valkyries, or the Yamaha Royal Star on display at the Jatvis show. I think we could do a lot with one of those fine machines. Oh well. we vowed to make do with Andy Riskins' Nighthawk.

Andy works at SD.Cycles and his Shovelhead chopper was featured in IH.#137. Thanks a bunch for your help with the Iron Horse Project Japbike, Andy!

Fritz and I arrived at SD.Cycles just as the Nighthawk was being prepped for its big moment. We ran into Paul Cox, Knucklehead Steve and the beauteous Martha from Psycho Cycles, and consulted with them about how we should proceed with the project. Japbike. It was agreed that as much excess stock stuff should be removed as quickly as possible to ensure that this particular project doesn't drag its ass like every other friggin' IH. bike project. True, in its stock form, this bike easily ranks as one of the most beautiful and stunning motorcycles ever produced. Any way you look at it, the Honda Nighthawk stands with bikes like the'36.EL, the stiff-dick Indian Chiefs, the SS.Brough Superiors and the original Low Rider as a motorcycling masterpiece. From its flippant, flirty, plastic tail section to its sexy, engorged instrument cluster, the Honda screams, 'Ride me, you beast!" By garsh, who were we to deny its siren song of form following function?

As incredibly beautiful as the Honda was, we were hoping to improve upon two-wheeled perfection. As everyone knows, the best tools for this type of custom work are Harley Special Tools #1, #2 and #3. That's an eight-pound, a nine-pound and 20-pound sledgehammer, respectively. With great care and painstaking attention to detail that has to come to typify the Project Japbike, Andy administered the first carressing touches to the 'Hawk with a #1 tool. Inspired by his unfettered enthusiasm and energetic approach to the task at hand, Paul, Steve and your humble reporter pitched in. In no time, West 37th. Street was filled with the sounds of furious, on-the-fly customizations as each master builder threw himself into the project seemingly guided by an almost-supernatural, perhaps, holy sense of proportion an aesthetic that seemed to function as a collective unconscious which lent greater frenzy to the orgiastic artistry of the endeavor no matter who was wielding the tools. It was as if Jackson Pollock had created an abstract interpretation of a Nighthawk. A true work of art was taking shape before our very eyes. Many could not bear to face such intense beauty and had to avert their eyes. Pieces of the Honda were quickly and efficiently removed to reveal the gorgeous form beneath all of that formerly flawlessly functioning hardware. Less-is-more rules! Remember to tag and bag everything you remove from your bike so you don't lose anything!

Finally, after all the tools had shattered and the hammerheads went flying into the crowd, the Project Japbike was finished. Everyone was awestruck. As daunting as our task had seemed, it appeared that we had, indeed, achieved the impossible. The 'Hawk had become art. It had been elevated into the realmof pure concept. We had unleashed the true, raw nature of the Honda which had only been hinted at previously by the factory product. All were speechless. What can one say in the presence of absolute perfection? In a heart-wrenching moment of pathos, a nameless biker stepped out from the crowd and christened the beautiful, gorgeous bike with a golden gesture to which no words could ever render justice'

Twenty minutes to complete an Iron Horse project bike has to be a record! If any readers have suggestions for other possible project bikes, please let us hear them....

Snow.